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5 Ways I Stopped Comparing Myself

According to one statistic 80% of New Year Resolutions are broken by February. So we are all in this together right? Let me tell you one reason my New Year energy dwindled...

So I would rate my January a 4/5. Initially it was about a 2/5 but things improved. I have not been feeling hopeful, energetic and confident about the future. Dealing with bouts of prolonged imposter syndrome and losing some of my confidence meant I have not been producing as I would want. As I said to a friend recently over coffee, I was at a crossroads of decisions I didn't know had to be made. I didn't remember having this discussion sooooooo...what's up? We sometimes get in the way of our own goals because we start to see others with similar goals, skills or interests excel and APPEAR to be highly successful. They are doing the thing but I'm over here stuttering. I felt depressed; why wasn't I getting the results like them? Nothing is going right despite doing all the right things and how did I interpret that? As not being good enough. I'm not good enough or skilled enough and I don't know what I am doing! Thankfully after many patient , and somewhat repetitive, (sorry peeps), conversations with a few loved ones who energize me and give it to me straight, along with prayer and meditation, I came out of THIS round renewed and refocused.


What I Learned About Comparing Myself

Working around successful people and social media it is almost impossible to avoid comparing myself. That is the very real downside of social media. It is creating a mental health crisis! My tendency comes from issues with youth of feelings of rejection and unfinished business. That's the root of where it comes from and I am tired of the self-doubt and negativity about my capabilities. I also have to be more aware of how much time I spend on social media outside of the workspace. I chose to start celebrating my wins and the wins of others from a genuine space.


Silencing The Voice of Comparison


I have found 5 ways to help me cope and silence the voice of comparison:


  1. Upward Comparison. Yes! You heard me. Comparing yourself can be used positively. Use the example of others in your field as an inspiration. Celebrate their wins and use them as an example of inspiration. Say to yourself, "That can be me.", "This is possible for me.", "I am doing this but I am open to learning and growing."

  2. Downward Comparison. So looking at others with a humble mindset and celebrating how far you have come and showing gratitude for what you have. Acknowledging that there are those who don't have what you have, aspire to be where you are and making comparisons of themselves to you!

  3. Take Regular Social Media Breaks. SIGN OFF! PERIODICALLY! We really need to keep social media in its place. Recognize that you are not a product you are a person who need to nourish themselves with things outside of the digital realm! Get outside, look at the sky, go to a concert, a gallery, a new restaurant. Actually LIVE offline.

  4. Complete One Task You Have Been Putting Off. Yes, procrastination has made me feel worse so taking the bull by the horns, revisiting my own schedule and completing something I have wanted to do has helped me become more productive. It also builds self-respect and self-appreciation.

  5. Discover What Makes You, You. Really take time to delve into what makes you unique. What are your values, your idiosyncrasies, your loves and dislikes. Truly, social media and all its algorithms have really started to dictate to us what we love. Take the time to actually let the matrix know you don't want to see that ad, that profile or product because it isn't you.

I hope this blog has helped you. Please comment your thoughts on this topic and share with anyone you feel could use the support!

6 Comments


Guest
Feb 13, 2023

Love love loveeee this article. Imposter syndrome is so real. thanks for remind me that we are good enough.

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Alicia
Alicia
Feb 18, 2023
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You are enough! You are amazing. Embrace growth and improvement.

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Tiffani Chanel
Tiffani Chanel
Feb 06, 2023

This was so relatable! Thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable and share your own personal experience. There’s so much comfort to be found in knowing we’re not alone in our struggles. And you offered some really good tips. I found it funny that I need a little more of #4 to accomplish #3! This was the impetus I needed to get back on track with prioritizing the things that make me ME. Because I’ve found that making time for myself actually energizes me to do the boring productive stuff…which I often feel pressure to prioritize over nurturing my happiness. Let’s normalize giving ourselves the grace we so generously give to others

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Alicia
Alicia
Feb 18, 2023
Replying to

Yes!!! Curate experiences that make you YOU. We are all wonderfully made in our uniqueness. Let's not all be boring Instagram beige room like

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Jamin Collins
Jamin Collins
Feb 06, 2023

Really great read and very practical tips on self comparison! Thanks for sharing

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Alicia
Alicia
Feb 18, 2023
Replying to

Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it

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